The holidays, while full of joy, excitement, and love, can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. If you’re hosting Thanksgiving dinner, there’s a lot at stake. You want everyone to have a great time, enjoy delicious food, and have fond, warm and delightful Thanksgiving memories at your house. And don’t you want to enjoy it too? It sounds like a dream, right? Have you ever hosted a family gathering where everything went perfectly smooth, and you could sit down and actually have long conversations with your guests? Here are some of my tips to help you stress less this Thanksgiving so that you can spend more time catching up with family and enjoying their company instead of worrying if the food is done (or burned)!
Plan ahead. Decide on all the details ahead of time. What will be on the menu, and will you be cooking or preparing everything yourself? Maybe you’ll want to pick up premade, or semi-premade food from a restaurant or grocery store. Make a list of all these details and then make another list of all the things that need to be done, which things can be done ahead of time, and which things need to be done the day of. You will want to plan out the days before thanksgiving on an hourly calendar so that you can stay on track. Try doing as much of the prep work ahead of time. For example, if you can make mashed potatoes the day before and reheat on Thanksgiving Day, that will save you some time (and stress) later on, and help your kitchen stay tidy (more on this below). Make sure you organize what will be in the oven and on the stove and how much time they each need. You won’t want to have a super late dinner because the turkey and the scalloped potatoes couldn’t fit in the oven at the same time, when you had planned to bake them together. Also, keep in mind that the more stuff cooking in the oven, the longer it will take to bake. Keep the bathroom stocked with toilet paper, soap, and fresh towels so that you don’t have to go looking through your garage for more toilet paper while you are entertaining guests.
Make it a potluck. I am a big fan of family gatherings where I don’t have to worry about the entire menu. I have 2 small children and love to entertain, but I usually make it a potluck. You can have a list of options for people to sign up for so that you don’t end up with everyone bringing pie and no sides.
Enlist helpers. Try to get at least 2 or more people to help you out and have a plan for what each person will be responsible for. One person can make the beverages and set the table, someone else can help cut, stir, and baste. If you forgot to get an ingredient or two for a recipe, you can send one of your helpers to the market (if it’s open). You can also have someone(s) be the dishwasher. Just make sure you have an apron available for each helper. Don’t forget, if someone asks you “Do you need any help or can I bring anything?” Your answer is always “Yes, Thank you!” At the very least, you can ask them to bring a bottle of wine or to be in charge of emptying the trash if it gets full.
Have some quick fix appetizers ready when guests arrive. Your guests have probably been looking forward to Thanksgiving Dinner and have planned their day to be eating a feast at your house. They might arrive hungry, so having something simple and healthy for your guests to munch on, like a cheese, cracker, nuts, and fruit platter or veggies with hummus or homemade ranch dip will help keep tummies happy and give you a bit more lee-way on dinner-time. Afterall, making a feast will probably take more time than you originally allotted. Besides, small bites throughout the evening are better for your blood sugar and better for your health.
Keep the menu small. You don’t have to serve every type of side or dessert that is available on Thanksgiving Day. You’ll go crazy with the amount of work that needs to be done, and you’ll probably have lots of leftovers that won’t fit in your fridge afterwards. Keeping the menu simple will also help you focus on the few items you serve, making them extra tasty.
Take some shortcuts. Buying premade items like bread rolls and pumpkin pie from your favorite bakery, gourmet cranberry sauce from the farmer’s market, or the frozen pre-peeled pearl onions instead of peeling them yourself can help cut down on the amount of work you need to do in the kitchen. Consider using disposable plates and cutlery. There are fancier options available and even ones that are biodegradable and better for the environment.
Keep a tidy kitchen. One way to do this is to reuse the same pot or pan. If you can sauté in one pan and use it for cooking another dish without washing it, you’ve just saved yourself at least 3 minutes. If you ever have any down-time during your prep work, be sure to clean up the dirty dishes. Not only will you have less dishes to wash later, you’ll feel more organized and you’ll have a more effective kitchen space. As mentioned above, planning ahead can also help keep your kitchen in order. The less chopping and marinating required on T-Day, the fewer dishes you’ll have to wash.
Prepare some activities for kids. Having kids over? Put out a small craft activity or print out some simple Thanksgiving themed coloring pages, and strategically place it away from the kitchen so you’ll have a smaller likelihood of children running through your kitchen during food prep. If the kids are of an appropriate age or express an interest in helping out, give them a special job that doesn’t require too much hand holding like sprinkling cheese or juicing lemons.
Don’t forget to enjoy yourself. Even with lots to do, you can still have a great time. Depending on the layout of your home, you can probably socialize while preparing the food. Here are some suggestions on how you can make sure you and all your guests have a great time:
- Set reasonable expectations for Thanksgiving Dinner. If you don’t expect perfection, you’ll be pleasantly surprised when something turns out better than you thought. On the other hand, if your hopes were too high to begin with, one small error or bump might make you feel like you failed. If something goes wrong, try to focus on the solution to the problem and if you can’t do anything to fix the problem, try to laugh about it. I remember one family road trip last holiday season where nothing seemed to go right. The weather was freezing, the kids were not happy, the food was awful, my son threw up all over the car, and my husband and I felt like leaving home with the kids was not a vacation at all. Things got so out of control, we just had to laugh about it, and now every time we remember that trip, it still makes us laugh.
- Keep things positive. Sometimes family gatherings mean that the good, the bad, and the ugly can all show their true colors. While we want to encourage people to share freely with each other, we prefer if the mood were kept as positive as possible. If uncomfortable or negative discussion ensues, try to recognize and validate your family member’s feelings, and help them turn their negative feelings into something positive and constructive. You can also set some ground rules for Thanksgiving Dinner, like no talking politics or no yelling allowed. And try to have some fun topics to discuss like upcoming vacations, or talking about everyone’s accomplishments throughout the year or reminiscing over Thanksgivings of the past.
- Practice Gratitude Attitude. Being thankful and mindful of your blessings is a great way to reduce stress. It helps put things into perspective and makes your troubles seem smaller than you think. It also helps you focus on the positive, which can have a long-term benefit on the health of your brain.
- Listen to happy or soothing music. Jazz music is always one of my favorite go-to’s for entertaining. My 3 favorite Pandora radio stations are “Louis Armstrong Radio,” “Miles Davis Radio” and “Happy Radio.”
- Sharing is caring. You might consider going around the table and asking everyone to share a story. You can play a game where you go around the table and everyone has to fill in the blank. Here are some examples:
1. This year, my proudest moment was when …
2. I am extremely grateful for … because …
3. My main goal I hope to accomplish next year is …
4. If I could have one super power, I would want it to be …
5. If I had to eat only one meal for the rest of my life, it would be …
6. My biggest pet peeve is …
7. If I were to share a meal with any 1 person, living of dead, it would be with …
8. If I were stranded on a deserted island, the 3 things I would want with me are …
I hope that these tips can help you have a less stressed, more enjoyable, and more memorable Thanksgiving. From my family to yours, have a blessed, beautiful, wonderful and healthy, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!